Lisa Newey
For most of us, contemplating the end of our life doesn’t normally happen until or unless we find ourselves approaching it, or observing the end of someone else’s journey. When we do, the details about how and where become important. For a group of individuals centred around a community centre in the New South Wales town of Port Kembla, the end of life becomes a focal point in more ways than one when they decide to form a not-for-profit funeral business, which is detailed in the documentary Tender.
This funny, touching and uplifting film, which recently debuted at the Sydney Film Festival and also screened on ABC1, looks at the many reasons why funerals can become a burdensome part of the grieving process, including the cost, and the often rigid format of the service, and how that could be changed. The Port Kembla Community Project, an umbrella organisation which facilitates several smaller groups including a men’s shed, gardening and art groups, and other outreach services, begins to research a community-based funeral home to offer assistance throughout the end of life process, which takes them on a steep learning curve.
During this process, the group are saddened when one of their members, Nigel, is diagnosed with terminal cancer, but in his softly-spoken way, he allows the group to start actually doing what they have been talking about and planning for, enabling the venture to become a reality. The group’s resilience is tested, but their humour, compassion and care for one of their own uplifts them all, and everyone who observes this touching story. One of the most beautiful moments in the film is a series of photographs as members of the group come together to prepare Nigel’s body. The love and gentle care glows from the pictures as they wash and dress him, demystifying a process that so often is considered weird or scary.
Corporatisation of the funeral industry, like many other small industries, is a sad reality of 21st century life, but it is heartening to see a community connect in a meaningful way to serve and include everyone. Their acceptance of death as a natural aspect of life, to be honoured and embraced, is inspirational.
Tender Funerals are crowd-funding to set up their venture and you can support them here.
Tender is still available to view on ABC iView until July 13th
www.iview.abc.net.au/programs/tender/DO1126H001S00
www.tenderdocumentary.com.au/#a-documentary
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